I think close friends and family have already heard the news that our dear baby Yuan passed away Tuesday night. Read Here and Here.
I cried and cried all day yesterday. I wanted to talk to my big sister and stop her pain. Knowing I couldn't do anything for her but pray was/is so disappointing. I think we were all in a dark, cloudy haze yesterday. When I first noticed the sun coming up, I remember thinking it was odd that time was moving forward. I felt like the world needed to pause until Brittany and Ili could heal. And the day progressed, I would stop half way down the stairs and cry, or while talking to friends and family.
Zacho and I talked about how there are few things that happen to us in this life that cause you to not care about anything else going on. And that we feel like the death of a child is one of, if not the, worst things that can happy to a family. We don't have any children yet, but just the small bit of heartache and pain we experienced for the Yuan's, and the incomprehensible fear and desperation that goes through your mind in life threatening situations is just about enough to do a person in. I shutter to think of the wracking experience this was for my sweet, sweet sister and her husband.
Oh tears.
It wasn't until about 3 o'clock in the afternoon that I finally got to talk to Brit. The last thing I wanted is for her to have to re-tell/re-live the story over again. When she picked up the phone, she sounded okay, but I started to cry.
It was awkwardly quiet for the first few seconds, because I already knew how she was and I knew what she was doing, so what more is there to say? But as she started to speak, she knew exactly what needed to be said.
She explained to me in detail what happened, she told me how her kitchen looked like a flower shop, she told me she had such a wonderful day with him before it happened, singing to him and giving him 'tummy time'. She said, "he was soooo cute, Chrissy," through sighs of tears. She felt lucky for the 10 days she had. She felt like it was his time to go, she and Ili were supposed to be his parents, and she knows he is in Heaven waiting for them.
After talking to her, my dark, cloudy haze immediately lifted. I felt so comforted. I felt the Lord's help. I know there are countless prayers coming from places I don't even know about for Brittany and Ili. But I also know from this conversation with Brit, that the power of those prayers were reaching me too. Through my sister and her calm, comforting words, I gleaned some of her peace and comfort and was blessed just as she was.
What an incredible thing.
Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. We are all making arrangements to hopefully be together for the funeral.
**If you can and would like to, we have started a donation fund for the Yuan's to help with some of the inconvenient costs. Anything you can give would surely help them so much. There is a place on my sidebar to click on and follow.
I cried and cried all day yesterday. I wanted to talk to my big sister and stop her pain. Knowing I couldn't do anything for her but pray was/is so disappointing. I think we were all in a dark, cloudy haze yesterday. When I first noticed the sun coming up, I remember thinking it was odd that time was moving forward. I felt like the world needed to pause until Brittany and Ili could heal. And the day progressed, I would stop half way down the stairs and cry, or while talking to friends and family.
Zacho and I talked about how there are few things that happen to us in this life that cause you to not care about anything else going on. And that we feel like the death of a child is one of, if not the, worst things that can happy to a family. We don't have any children yet, but just the small bit of heartache and pain we experienced for the Yuan's, and the incomprehensible fear and desperation that goes through your mind in life threatening situations is just about enough to do a person in. I shutter to think of the wracking experience this was for my sweet, sweet sister and her husband.
Oh tears.
It wasn't until about 3 o'clock in the afternoon that I finally got to talk to Brit. The last thing I wanted is for her to have to re-tell/re-live the story over again. When she picked up the phone, she sounded okay, but I started to cry.
It was awkwardly quiet for the first few seconds, because I already knew how she was and I knew what she was doing, so what more is there to say? But as she started to speak, she knew exactly what needed to be said.
She explained to me in detail what happened, she told me how her kitchen looked like a flower shop, she told me she had such a wonderful day with him before it happened, singing to him and giving him 'tummy time'. She said, "he was soooo cute, Chrissy," through sighs of tears. She felt lucky for the 10 days she had. She felt like it was his time to go, she and Ili were supposed to be his parents, and she knows he is in Heaven waiting for them.
After talking to her, my dark, cloudy haze immediately lifted. I felt so comforted. I felt the Lord's help. I know there are countless prayers coming from places I don't even know about for Brittany and Ili. But I also know from this conversation with Brit, that the power of those prayers were reaching me too. Through my sister and her calm, comforting words, I gleaned some of her peace and comfort and was blessed just as she was.
What an incredible thing.
Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. We are all making arrangements to hopefully be together for the funeral.
**If you can and would like to, we have started a donation fund for the Yuan's to help with some of the inconvenient costs. Anything you can give would surely help them so much. There is a place on my sidebar to click on and follow.
9 comments:
Chrissy, I can't imagine. I've been thinking about Brittany and Ili and your whole family ever since I saw it on Marci's blog yesterday. Rush sees me crying and he starts crying, too. Asking why never helps anything - most of the time we'll never understand why. Words fail me today, but you and Marci and your Mom all wrote such beautiful posts. Thank you for being brave enough to share even in the wave of such heartbreak. You guys are in my every thought and prayer. xoxo
Brittany's faith is inspiring. I'm so glad that you all are able to find peace and comfort. More love and prayers are coming your way.
Dear Chrissy and Family,
Words can not take any of the pain and loss away from each of you.
The best we can do is morn with those who are in need of comfort.
All of us can be reminded that Heavenly Father knows us and is there for each of us, he never is too far away.
This is the time where we can lean on him and ask him to help those we love. So on this day we will pray for each of you, by name and we will ask in our prayers for peace and comfort for each of you.
We will ask that we will not forget each of you in your loss of this handsome perfect warrior, who came for a visit to remind each of us of Heavenly Fathers plan.
You are each in our prayers.
Love,
Sister Petersen ;.)
I'm just in shock still. I can't believe it. I have just felt this gloom and sadness all day. A sadness for Brittany and Ili. A sadness for your family. You all have written such wonderful posts and I have loved reading them. I have read them each twice or more already because they give me comfort. You are all so strong and have such faith. The gospel of Jesus Christ lifts us up, strengthens us, comforts us and keeps us moving forward. What an incredible blessing. Give our love to your family, especially Brittany and Ili. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Tragedy strikes when you least expect it - but when it does, it's amazing to see people come together, united in a cause.
you probably don't remember me... I am Sara Freeman's cousin, Amber Melton, now Flake. I just read about this sad happening, and I have tears too. I haven't seen you two since you were cute little blonde sisters running all over the place at Ralph and Linda's. My prayers are with your sister and with you and the rest of your family. I'm so sorry that this challenge came to your family, and I hope you can all find peace and comfort from the source of all peace and comfort. with love from maryland, Amber
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear this. Your words are so beautiful-they brought me to tears. I can't imagine how your family is feeling. We're thinking and praying for you, Britt and the rest of your family.
Chrissy! I had no idea what happend till I just read your blog. I am in tears right now thinking about what your sister is going through. I cannot imagine the pain that she feels, but she and her husband will be in my prayers as the rest of you family will be too. I am sorry about what happend. I love you and your family and will be thinking about you guys. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help in any way. love you
em
I just want you to know, we've been praying and praying and then some for all of you. I wish I could give you a hug. Just know how loved you all are. Brittany is precious. I have shed so many tears thinking of her heartache. More prayers♥
what a sweet post- it made me cry. We'll keep you all in our thoughts and prayers.
Post a Comment